Movie Review: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

This may be the first majority-not-in-English movie I’ve ever reviewed here. But the translation of the captions is spot on, some of the funniest stuff from a horror film. Spoilers:

So, basically, an old rich idiot is wanting to dig up this old burial site. That burial site? The original Santa Claus. Who is apparently an evil goat-horned child-eater. More of a Krampus than a Santa.

The movie isn’t really creepy, and is kind of weird to include as a horror film in some ways. But the idea of a bunch of naked old elves attacking people so they can help a demon eat children is kind of right up the alley of what a horror movie might be. The ending is also hilarious, and there’s a good twist toward the end, too. They told a lot of story in less than an hour and a half, especially given that a lot of it wasn’t in English — everything relies on the translation, which is pretty damn good.

The acting and limited effects are good. I could have done without 198 naked old men.

Christmas has climbed to a 2-0.

Report card:
Runtime: An hour twenty-two.
Acting: Pretty damn good.
Effects: Pretty good.
Violence: Yeah, some off screen and/or implied.
Dead Townsfolk: I think one confirmed death.
Revenge Kills: None.
Gun Use: Yes, but realistic.
Gore: Maybe a hair.
Creepy? Not really.
Monster Type? Santa Claus and his Elves.
Monster Ick Factor: Most of the elves are naked old men.
Funny? Yes, intentionally.
Nudity: The sheer number of dongs in this is ridiculous.
Pet Death: I don’t think so.
Pacing: Pretty good build and burn.

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