A World Cup Note

Anyone criticizing the US Women’s National Team for scoring goals shouldn’t be taken seriously

All right, I don’t watch a lot of soccer. I find the game to be poorly paced, the lack of substitutions like in hockey mean that most of the game is very dull, the error prone clock management, the faking of injuries — all of it makes me not want to watch the sport unravel on television. But I do know a few things about it, and I know how group play works in sports.

The World Cup and the Olympics are the biggest events in soccer. Full stop. Every team who made it qualified for it, no one there is a group of helpless scabs. Everyone worked hard to get in. That’s how it works when it is one of two events that are the biggest two in the sport. The World Cup and Summer Olympics are also only held every four years — which means the opportunities for these athletes to compete at this stage are limited. There are only so many four year blocks in an athlete’s career.

I let this stew for a bit before posting, because I was eye-rolling to the point of soccer injury at the few loud pompous assholes critiquing players for scoring goals and further having the audacity to celebrate them. The US team went up 13-0. That’s a slaying in soccer.

But as with every time I hear someone accuse another team of “running up the score” my first and only thought is, “then stop them. Be better.” These people are professionals. This is what they do. If they can’t hack it, they just can’t hack it. Sorry, that’s the way it works.

Also, goal difference matters in group play. If the US had tied another team in one of their other games in group play, goal differential would have helped the US break that tie. Every. Goal. Matters.

Finally, I highly doubt the pantywaists would react with nearly the same outrage and shock if another team were to absolutely wreck the US team. I just can’t see it. Because, we’re the US. There’s implied privilege there. Wrecking our day on the pitch would be a major victory — every goal would be an amazing achievement!

Sorry, media whiners. We don’t care anymore about your hand-wringing. Go sit on the fainting couch because as of today the women are poised to keep scoring goals in this tournament.

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