Because I can’t finish watching Rana, Screamers, or this other shitty movie whose name I forgot. Seriously, I looked long and hard for a decent water-monster movie that was also available on either a free service (Tubi, Pluto) or one of the other services I pay for (Amazon + some channels, Netflix, Hulu), and I …
As hinted at last week, young people love to go to the mall during the summer. Especially if there isn’t much else to do. But what happens if… something happens at the shopping mall? Or should I say, the Chopping Mall? This time, rather than a sleepaway camp, or a cabin on a lake, or …
Another thing people sometimes do in the summer: rent a cabin on a lake! Now, as I have previously mentioned (especially when I reviewed Friday the 13th: Part 3), Friday the 13th are some of the more fun slasher films to me. They don’t take themselves too seriously, they’re supposed to be a little funny, …
One thing people sometimes do in the summer? They have sleepovers instead of just sleepaway camp. Now, I wasn’t sure about this movie at first, so I gave the Slumber Part Massacre Wikipedia page a read. Apparently this movie series (there are three) was exclusively directed by women, and this one was also written by …
This is definitely one of the most favored summer activities of the Boomer generation: summer camps. Seriously, Boomers made a lot of movies about summer camps, glamorizing a lot of things that just didn’t often happen. But this movie is a cult icon, so how does it stack up? Now, we have to throw out …
Well, I had to expand the definitions for the Bug movies, to include Slugs. But it was worth it, because despite being pretty gross, this was an irresistible movie with a familiar premise. The main gist is that slugs have been mutated by toxic waste (! our first straight-up toxic waste monster), and now they …
Well, that was different. Admittedly, I got a little tricked by the cover; the creature looks more bug-like than the movie implied for most of it, but toward the end, yep, that’s a big ol’ bug in space. I’m not sure how a (possibly?) person-bacteria hybrid starts to look like the Xenomorph crossbred with an …
Wow. This movie isn’t great. It isn’t actively awful, but it isn’t really much of a horror movie or even a B-movie. The cover is a lie, too — there’s nothing about them preying on human flesh, like the roaches in our last bug movie. What a letdown this was. That said, I think most …
This movie is garbage. For my summer bug and water-monster movies, I’ve decided to do six of each if I can find six tolerable movies of each. Then I’ll find a seventh movie from whichever one is the best set of movies. This makes the fourth water-monster movie so far, and right now the tally …
I state my regret. But for a different reason. This movie was good but by far the most gross film I’ve reviewed so far. Here’s why: It’s a movie about flesh-eating cockroaches. And they used something like two thousand real cockroaches to make this movie. Now, I live in the humid, stanky part of the …